Yesterday morning, as I stood bent over my sink, splashing water on my puffy, slightly crusty eyelids, I looked up at the mirror and paused.
I observed my reflection a bit longer than usual.
At first, I noticed what was physically present. A few more stubborn gray hairs in my beard. I swear, when I pull one, five grow back to replace it. A head full of tight, thick black curls now, in contrast to the short, low fade I grew accustomed to. The kind of change you don’t notice all at once. It just accumulates quietly.
But past the surface, I saw something else.
An energetic difference.
My face was carrying less tension. There was a softness around my mouth that I don’t remember seeing before. My eyes weren’t guarded or jaded. They were bright. Not in the naive sense. Just lighter. Like something heavy had finally been set down.
And I realized that this past year didn’t just change my circumstances.
It changed my face.
It felt like a decade of excavation compressed into twelve months. The kind of internal digging that leaves you covered in emotional dust: underneath your nails, lightly coating your clothes & smeared randomly on your face. I unearthed baggage I didn’t even realize I was carrying. Some of it, I put on display for the world to see. Curious? Watch The UNBecoming.
Some of it, I tried to quietly shove back into the corner.
It honestly felt like hosting a garage sale for my own history.
I walked through each piece. Picked it up. Turned it over in my hands. Sat with some longer than others. Some items brought me to tears. Some I avoided at first & had to circle back to because pretending they weren’t there only made them louder.
Some things I released.
Some things I forgave.
Some things I simply made peace with.
And as the load lightened, something shifted in my body.
My shoulders softened. My jaw unclenched. My eyes softened. My breath deepened. The reflection staring back at me no longer looked like someone bracing for impact, but someone stepping into themselves — not defined by what happened to them but by who they were deciding to be.
If you’ve looked at yourself lately & felt unfamiliar, not because you’re broken, but because you’ve changed, this letter is for you.
Dear You,
There are moments when you catch your reflection & pause.
