Some identities are seasonal.
Some last a few weeks. Some last a few decades. Some were never meant to be permanent, even if you wore them long enough to forget that.
When I think about some identities, I think about masks. Costumes.
Things you try on.
Sometimes it’s impulsive. You meet someone in your formative years & think, that looks like it comes with benefits. So you try it. Sometimes the mask is handed to you. You learn quickly who you need to be in order to stay strong, composed & easy.
I didn’t always realize I was doing it.
There was a stretch of my life where being “easy” felt like a superpower.
Easy to work with. Easy to depend on. Easy to trust. I could read a room in seconds & adjust. I could smooth tension before it grew teeth. I rarely made things heavier than they needed to be. I was “easy.”
At first, that felt like maturity. And some of it was.
But over time, adaptability slowly turned into self-editing. That subtle awareness turned into hyper-awareness. Being considerate quietly became being careful.
Careful not to be too much, disrupt, & not to need.
No one forced that mask onto me. I picked it up because it worked. It really helped. It kept things calm.
Borrowed & temporary masks often do.
But there comes a point where you realize you’ve wrapped who you are tightly inside who you thought you needed to be. Read that line again.
