It’s okay to not be okay.
We all know that, at least intellectually, but we aren’t always given permission to actually live inside that truth.
So let me say this gently, to you & to myself—
It’s okay to set aside the fake smile. The forced laugh. The version of you that shows up just to make things easier for everyone else. It’s okay to stop pretending.
So much of the world we’ve built feels obsessed with how agreeable, friendly, & palatable we are. How easy we are to be around. And honestly? That shit is utterly exhausting.
It’s also not real life.
Sometimes we aren’t agreeable. Sometimes we’re tired, overwhelmed, or just not in the mood. And that doesn’t make us difficult or unworthy. It makes us human.
We don’t have to be at our best to be valued or loved. We don’t have to have it figured out to be deserving. We’re allowed to be in transition. Lost. Tender. Even completely in the dumps.
Pretending & performing might help us get through the day, but it comes at a cost.
I’ve learned that peeling back those layers, laying down the mask, brings an immediate sense of relief. A lightness. A feeling of finally being able to breathe. And that kind of relief is something we all deserve, no matter what we’re navigating.
So I invite you into something quieter & braver: radical acceptance. Choosing yourself in all your forms, ALL of ‘em, not just the polished or pleasant ones. Letting yourself be seen as you are, not as you think you should be.
Because you, exactly as you are right now, are enough.
Dear You,
I know how exhausting it is to keep wearing the mask.
It takes a surprising amount of energy to live as a version of yourself that feels acceptable. To keep your reactions in check, your smile steady, your edges softened. Some nights, you realize how much of yourself you’ve set aside just to make it through the day.
Maybe you learned early that people only wanted the “best” version of you: the agreeable one, the easy one, the one who never caused trouble. Perhaps you believed that if you stayed likable & bright, no one would see the mess, the ache, the confusion beneath the surface.
Pretending became protection.
Here’s the truth: you don’t have to keep performing to be loved. You don’t need to hold everything together to belong. You are worthy in your unfiltered state, in your unguarded laugh, & your messy thoughts.
Ask yourself:
What would it feel like to set the mask aside, even for a moment?
Who in your life feels safe enough to see the unpolished version of you?
If you’re looking for ease, really sit with these questions.
Pretending may have protected you, but it isn’t the only way to survive. You don’t need to be perfect to be accepted.
You are already enough. Just as you are.
With you in the unveiling,
Kasim